Manners Maketh Man
I promise I'm not going to title all my posts with movie quotes (this one is from Kingsman) but I just couldn't help myself. I love all the simplicity and convenience of modern life, the freedom that we all enjoy to do as we like and not get hung up on formality or rigid social codes. Yet despite this, I also feel a wistful yearning for some of the old ways- the manners, the attention to personal appearance, the art of presentation... I'm not old enough to have proper first hand personal experience of what I've got in mind, but I've had little tastes of it here and there; a smiling elderly gentleman in a suit lifting his hat to me as he walked past me murmuring a soft "bella", looking through the photographs in old family albums and still seeing those same clothes carefully hung in wardrobes smelling softly of lavender and mothballs (a very nostalgic smell for me, I think I'm the only person I know who genuinely likes the smell of mothballs!). I even love reading old etiquette books! If you look past the rules laid out and read the explanations, some antiquated customs that might seem pointless or silly are actually rooted in genuine thoughtfulness and the desire to maximize a guest's comfort and enjoyment!
My grandmother loved to have my family over for lunch during our summer visits, and at the time I could not understand why she stressed so much over the cooking and the table setting. She would lay out her special tablecloth and go around arranging every plate, fork, and glass just so. I even watched her give a last minute shine to the odd spot on the cutlery and shift items minutely so that the overall balance was more harmonious. What was the point to all this? I thought it was endearing but unnecessary to go to so much effort when it was going to be "just the family", who were simply happy to get together and enjoy her delicious cooking. Certainly, none of us would be judging her or remarking on her hostessing skills. It's only now that I'm older that I am fully realizing and appreciating what her efforts were all about; she was showing her care and love for us by making her home and table as beautiful as she could. Truly, it is absolutely lovely to sit down at an inviting table to enjoy a meal prepared with love, surrounded by family.
With all these feelings swirling around my head, this year I've been making efforts to make my home prettier, brighter, and more comfortable. Whether it's putting in the time to clean and dust more often, straightening cushions and tidying toys at the end of every day, or decluttering and getting rid of things we don't need, I think it's been a very rewarding use of my time and energy. Little by little, things are looking a little less haphazard and little more intentional (and, dare I say it, attractive!) After reorganizing most of my kitchen cupboards and drawers last month, I started thinking about my dishes. I didn't have a proper dish set, but rather odd pieces (some matching but most not at all) that I had pieced together from random garage sales, thrift shops, and relatives. Those dishes and bowls were just fine when my husband and I were dating, when I was in school and we weren't yet sure what the future held in store for us or where we'd be in 5 years time. It was a time of change and flux, and having a matching dish set was not a priority.
However, everything has a season and I guess I'm now finally in my season of nesting and caring about having pretty tableware! So this past week I ordered a new set of dishes from Macy's that caught my eye as I was idly browsing their homewares section. I chose the Gibson White Elements set for several reasons: it's all white with an attractive pattern that's simple and won't be too distracting from the food on the plate, it's a set for 6 people in case I ever have the opportunity to be a hostess, and it's a set that does not include pointless mugs. If I have a pet peeve about dinnerware sets, it's the fact that so many seem to include mugs that I do not want. I already have about 50 random mugs and who sets a mug on the table when hosting a lunch or dinner anyway! I'd much rather have more plates or bowls. I was extremely happy to spot it while it was on sale for $38, and although the set is now back to it's full price of $120, Macy's is currently offering for 40% off so it's still possible to purchase it at a discount.
Having a bit of time to myself today and feeling inspired by the lovely flowers I cut yesterday from my dad's garden (the daffodils smell amazing), I decided to try to set my table with my new dishes and see what it would look like! If you're thinking that I am like a little girl playing house, yes, you would be correct- that's exactly what it feels like sometimes! It took me about half an hour to google place-setting instructions, figure out what I have/want to use, and then arrange it in a pleasing way. And then another half hour to take photos and then clear everything away, because lovely as it is, such a fancy table is not toddler friendly. This might seem like a waste of a perfectly good hour of quiet alone time (a rare commodity!) but, there's definitely a practical side to it; if I ever do need to set my table for company, I think I'll know exactly what to do and it won't be stressful trying to figure it all out on the fly. Plus there's the enjoyment factor, because I really did take pleasure in making my table look so pretty today, even if it was for just a short time!
I didn't have a tablecloth so I set down a vintage tablerunner (at least I think that's what it is?) that I purchased at an estate sale last year. It's got little rust spots on it and its very heavily starched so I'm not sure if it's ever been used, but someday I will definitely try to carefully wash it and see if I can improve its appearance. Despite its flaws, the lace and details on it where just too pretty to pass up, and I'm glad I took it home! I used the dinner and salad plates for my new dishware set, but the bowls with the gold rim are actually cheap $1 bowls I picked up at an asian market in California this past January. They don't quite match a 100% but I thought the gold rim was a nice little touch. :) The wine glasses were a Christmas gift from my mom two years ago, and I'm very happy to have them. Sadly I don't have 4 matching water glasses so if you look closely at the photos you might see that it's two mismatched pairs!
When I was trying to figure out where everything goes, I referred to this realsimple.com post for guidance, but I think I ended up with a table that's my own mix of the casual and formal styles. It probably wouldn't pass muster at Downton Abbey or anywhere else that knows about this sort of thing, but for my purposes I'm quite happy with the result! Of course, I didn't have a hypothetical menu in mind when setting my table so in future if I'm actually going to do this when people are coming over and food will be eaten, the setting may change depending on what we're having. :) Here's a little video I posted on my Instagram account, to give a better idea of what the finished dressed table looks like.
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